I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
