Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
