I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
