are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
