dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
