id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
