I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My vagina is officially offended.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
