Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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