It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
