so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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