just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sext me about skeletons
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
