It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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