I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
