Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
