please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
