Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
