i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
