At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
