dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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