I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
