also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
