I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
