I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
