I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
