well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
