Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
