Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
