Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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