So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
