Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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