"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize