I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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