I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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