oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it's like heaven, but drunker
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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