I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
