happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
