Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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