You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
