dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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