redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
