Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
