When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh god it's open bar.
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