Well douche your snatch and let's go!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
