I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
