I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm getting married
To pizza
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
