Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
