I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
