I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
