roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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