if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
