I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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