He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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